Manager Does Not Equal RDC

It seems that certain members of management have decided that it's their job to "prepare" me for military life. By this I mean they're hen-pecking me more than usual, and then telling me I need to learn patience or else the RDC's at recruit training will "eat me alive" when I get fed up with it. One of the Customer Service Managers actually told me he was going to "get on my nerves" and "push me" once he found out what I'm doing with my life. I get the feeling that either they doubt me, or they're drinking some mad Haterade.

First off, I am human, and though I try to get a grip on my emotions (especially at work), sometimes my frustration shows itself. And it often comes in the form of sarcasm and cynicism, not because I'm a negative person, but because that is my personality. Being told that I have a negative attitude will only make it worse, because anyone who really knows me knows that that is utter bullshit, and I refuse to believe that the way I feel at any given moment is invalid or wrong. Do I act upon these negative emotions? No. Do I grumble and become slightly less cheery? Yes. I don't know anyone who works retail and can keep a nice, big smile on their face all day/night long. If they can, that's really creepy.

Second, since when was it your job as a retail manager to "prepare" me for recruit training? Last time I checked, that was my recruiter's job, and I don't think he needs any assistance in that area. After all, he's actually in the Navy, and you are not. You certainly did not prepare me for my position as a cashier, so why the hell would you bother to train me for anything else?! Maybe you think you're being helpful, but you're not. You're coming off as pompous and it irritates the crap out of me. Mind your business and do your job. I will worry about my Navy career, along with my recruiter.

Third, I do not expect nor demand special treatment, whether positive or negative, because I'm joining the military. The only thing I have asked for is to have Thanksgiving off, because I ship out in the beginning of December, I don't know when I'll be able to come back on leave, and deserve to spend that time with my family. I certainly did not ask to be, in my opinion, harassed or pushed harder than other associates. You expect me to continue to do my job during the time I have left with the company, so it only makes sense that you treat me as any other associate.


To the people who support me and are as excited about this as I am, I sincerely thank you, because it makes up for all this negativity. I love you all. To those who doubt me, I'm making a list, so that when I come back, I will ask you which one of my butt cheeks you'd like to kiss.

Do Not Pray For Me, For It's You That Needs Saving

First let me say that I have no issues whatsoever with people choosing to believe in a religion. This is not intended as an attack on anyone's faith whatsoever. I hope that this will at least make you think.

Frankly, I don't understand why some folks think that their religious beliefs give them a right to tell others how they should live. I'm not speaking on religious war, more like the day-to-day interactions we make with other humans as we go about our business.
Here's an example:

The condescending nature of the original post irked me, and I felt compelled to reply. First of all, such a post comes across as judgmental, and, dare I say, ignorant. Do I think abortion is ok? No. I have my own moral objections to such an act. Do I pass judgement on women who decide to go that route? No. Because it's none of my goddamn business. It is a decision that she, her god if she believes in one, and the father (if he is involved), must deal with. She will have to live with that decision. To call a woman selfish because she chooses to do something that, to whatever degree, she feels is best for her, is a slap in the face to women everywhere. In this case, the attitude is one of "You aren't doing what I believe/have been told is right, so therefore you are below me." It's fine if you want to think that, you have every right to. But I also have the right to believe that you are being an ass. And excuse me, but "He is not a god of condemnation?!" I nearly spit out my coffee all over my laptop upon reading that! Bible-thumping Christians have been saying, nay, YELLING that homosexuals will forever be damned to Hell...because "God said so." So apparently, God will forgive you for terminating a pregnancy, but will damn a man because he loves another man. How does that even begin to make sense?

I don't understand why some people believe that they have any business telling other folks how they should live. Frankly, it pisses me off that some will do this, and then hide behind their religion as a means to justify their douchebaggery. And that is where my problem with religion lies (I have others but that is the main one). Those that use their religion as an excuse for being ignorant asshats should be ashamed of their behavior. They should also be aware that it drives people away from religion, not towards it.

There was a time when I used to think life was either A or B. But thankfully I've grown and matured since then, and have come to realize that that's not how it is. Sometimes it's C, and sometimes it's even "all of the above." Shit happens, and what is ideal is often not the reality. I think a lot of people forget that. And if you're going to judge a person based on a decision that has nothing to do with you, you better make sure you're the spitting image of perfection my friend.

Never A Dull Moment

So I finally went and bought my new TV that I'd been saving my tax return for. Of course I purchased it from my store, mainly because that was the best deal I could find, and also, associate discount. Anyway. I found my TV and Jack, the electronics associate, rang me up. Now, the Assistant Manager in the department, who had just finished her overnight rotation in February, was hovering about and the following conversation occurred.


Manager: Did you tell her about this TV?
Jack: Why do I need to do that? She works here.
Manager: Well she hasn't worked electronics in some time...
Me and Jack: *WTF face*


Because all knowledge I ever had about the department and our products just flew out the window when the job code did. Yes. That makes sense. Why then, does everyone on my shift holler for ME when there's a customer needing assistance?! According to this logic, I have completely forgotten how to stock now that I'm a cashier.


Also, Virginia state law disallows the sale of alcohol by retail establishments between midnight and 6 a.m. The system literally will not allow us to ring up an alcohol purchase. There is nothing I can do about this. There isn't an "Unless It's Your Birthday" clause. It has nothing to do with me, this store, or the company. It's STATE LAW.


And please remember these things the next time you feel like antagonizing the poor cashier who works for slightly more than minimum wage:

Pet Photos Warrant Interrogations, Apparently

One my somewhat distant relatives on Facepage has quite an interest in our pets. Normally, this is good. But she's really annoying about it. Whenever I post a photo of them, it's OMG 20,429 questions about them, and they're all the same!

So, allow me to clarify for you!

-We have 5 pets: Piggy, Lint, Xerxes, Leonidas, and Winchester
-Piggy and Winchester are mine, the snakes and Lint belong to my sister
-NO the snakes do not "play" with each other.
-NO the cats do not "play" with the snakes.
-NO Xerxes can't eat the cats. I'd be scared if the could as he's 20" long and pencil thin.
-NO Leonidas can't eat the cats. YES, he could hug them to death.
-NO we do not let either of the snakes have free range. THEY ARE CONTAINED AT ALL TIMES.
-NO the cats don't shit bricks every time they peep into Leonidas' tank.
-NO the cats don't try to eat Winchester
-NO the snakes don't crawl around on me while I sleep and plot to kill me.
-And just for you, NO, WINCHESTER IS NOT FOOD FOR THE SNAKES. HE IS A PET.

For fuck's sake woman! We are responsible pet owners who actually have a clue as to what we're doing. If ANY of them were in danger from another WE WOULD FIX THE ISSUE. DUH.

German Grammar. Learn You Some.

One thing that inevitably comes with the territory of being a Rammstein fan is the desire to learn German, at the very least to understand what the song titles are in English. This is a good thing, as I think learning a new language certainly doesn't hurt anyone. Of course I recommend that some people shouldn't do so until they can form a proper sentence in English first, which for some never happens (I'm referring to native speakers, btw).

However, it would be nice if people in general got a grasp of basic German grammar, pronunciation, and spelling before being all "lololol loo i can cuss in german lololol" on Facepage. This is not difficult to do. I know for a fact that Barnes & Noble stocks a good deal of books, for I have purchased many. I recommend "German In 10 Minutes A Day" for beginners. This will teach you basic vocabulary, syntax, and pronunciation. It even comes with handy vocabulary stickers for you to put on household objects. They don't stick to pets very well however, and sadly I couldn't label Piggy because there was no sticker for "das Schwein." Anyway. Get yourself some workbooks, grammar books (preferably one with exercises), and a German-English dictionary. Music is awesome for helping with pronunciation and listening comprehension. But chances are you're already doing that, since you like Rammstein and all.

Why am I telling you all that? Because I can't fucking stand it when some moron on Facepage is butchering the ever-loving shit out of the language I love. This is not aimed at folks who ARE learning the language and make an genuine effort to communicate in it, but rather those fans that think they are fluent and know everything because they can sing along to "Du Hast." I'm also not getting on my high horse about it either. Granted, I took 3 years of German during high school, and dominated like a boss. I've been told by other native speakers that my German is very good, however I IN NO WAY claim to be fluent. To see people writing comments with shitty grammar and horrendous spelling makes me twitch. "Shizen" is not a word. It's "Scheisse." Capitalized, double S, sharp "s" sound, Scheisse. "To shit" would be "scheissen." NOT "shizen." THERE IS NO Z DAMMIT! If you're going to cuss in any language you should at least get the spelling right, otherwise you're just spouting nonsense.

Moral of the story: Get a basic understanding of the new language you're trying to communicate in, or just STFU 'cause it's making us all hate you/laugh at how much you fail.

A Rant

Been feeling a bit bummed lately. For the past few weeks, I've had Friday and Saturday nights off (however, that too is about to change :/). Aside from going out to dinner with some of the family last week, absolutely nothing has happened. I don't want to sound like I'm whining, or complaining, because sometimes I don't feel like going out. But in general, everyone made such a stink about me "always working" and they "never get to see me" anymore. So when I told everyone that I'd have Fridays and Saturdays off (or so I thought!), that there would be more socializing going on. Nope! Not even from BFF. Of course, he's all up in his girlfriend's business and seems to spend the ENTIRE weekend with her so...I guess it doesn't matter what days I have off!

Seems like everyone's forgotten about me. And don't even be all "So get back on days then!" at me, because it's not that simple. Management isn't gonna be all "ok sure" just 'cause I ask them. Also then I'd be home when her boyfriend is over and I'd have to listen to them bang and I just can't deal with that. I really can't.

Resistance Is Futile

So now Facepage has decided that I'm worthy of its Ticker feature. Because I really need a feed of my newsfeed. It's fucking distracting (not to mention redundant), and it pisses me off that I can't get rid it. Where was I when this decision to put this crap on my page was made? I don't remember ever being asked if I wanted the damn thing. Facepage was all "YOU SHALL HAVE THIS FEATURE >:[" and made it so. I swear SkyNet is behind this.

I like Facepage. I really do. It lets me keep in touch with my family and friends, as well as bands I love. But I can't stand how it decides what features you're gonna have, and how your feed is gonna be organized. And ain't shit you can do about it. There is no "opt out" check box. Every time it makes changes I yell at my laptop "BUT FACEPAGE I DON'T WANT THAT." But it never listens to me. Kinda like when I fuss at the cats for peeing in the corner of the littler box. I state my case and they just stare at me blankly. I hate the new "timeline" layout for profiles. It's too much like MySpace, and it just sucks. I assume it eventually will MAKE me have that hideous monstrosity of HTML as well.

At least it doesn't make me play FarmVille. OMG I'd quit the Internet if that ever happened.

That Demon Rock N' Roll

"Devil music." What is it, exactly? Is it music accompanied by lyrics which expressly discuss worshiping Satan? Is it music with lyrics that denounce organized religion? Or is it anything with an electric guitar, two bass drums, and aggressive vocals?

Because there is a difference. And just because a person, or band, denounces religion does not mean they worship the devil. In fact that'd be very hypocritical, now wouldn't it? And in some cases, the message in heavy metal songs is quite positive. Hatebreed's "Perseverance" for example, is about never giving up no matter what life throws at you. Five Finger Death Punch often sing about the lack of honesty and honor in today's society, and they really do support our military.

People like metal because they can identify with it, and it provides an outlet for pent up frustration and anger. I certainly can't let go of my negative energy by listening to Jason Aldean. I need something that expresses how I feel at the moment, like Slayer or older songs by The Casualties. And when I need to dominate like a boss, I put on some Sabaton (or The Imperial March). Metal provides an emotional outlet that other genres just can't touch (except punk rock).

Oh and may I add that while you may think that Dying Fetus is the devil, I can assure they're not singing about shooting people, gang activities, doing drugs, killing cops, prostitution, and smacking women around. Maybe you should think about THAT while you judge the music I like, while your 10 year old is listening to rap.

And with that, I bring you, Five Finger Death Punch.

Confessions

Often times in the wee hours I stop and analyze myself, something that I wish I didn't do, because it makes me feel less optimistic about my life.

My train of thought sometimes leads me back to that fight I had with my Dad last June, where I broke down and spilled my guts. It left me feeling as though I had done something wrong, or perhaps a lot of things wrong, but I could never figure out what it was. I went to work that night, arrived late, and tried with every fiber of my being to keep myself together...because all I wanted was to break down. I have never been in such a state, and haven't been since. It was a scary place for my mind to be in. One I never want to revisit.

I have been yelled at too much in my life. Mistakes are wrong. If you can't figure it out, you're too stupid. You're a pig. It didn't matter what the situation was. The solution was to make me feel as though I was wrong, that I had fucked up. I've never been good at math beyond basic algebra. My teachers never wanted to give me extra help after school. Instead they sighed exasperatedly "It's so simple! Don't you see?" No sir, I don't. Just like you don't see I need help. And always I was too afraid to ask for it.

Let's not forget the bullying during my childhood years. There was one boy in particular who made sure to yell out "DYKE!" at me every time he saw me in the hallways. I've had things thrown at me. I've had people draw swastikas on my desk in history class, which I would rub off with my spit each time. Another boy made my life so miserable, I wouldn't go to the playground in my neighborhood for fear of him being there. No blow was too low for him. To make it worse, he rode my bus, and was in my class too; there was no escaping it.

I've been made to feel lower than others. Like I deserve less. Like a freak. Like I'm not allowed to be who I am because it doesn't fit in the nice little neat boxes.

Yes. I have issues. Yes. I have anger problems. Yes. I am overly defensive. I admit these things. You can thank the males in my life for giving them to me.

Oh and of course, apparently I need to get NO, I'M NOT LESBIAN tattooed on my forehead. Because who I'd fuck is everybody's major concern it seems.