Sehnsucht

Well these 2 days off have gone by entirely too fast. But it was a good time. :)

I have to admit, I hate it when nobody's up but me. Ah, the lonely wee hours of the morning...an excellent time for contemplation. There's been some interesting emotional developments as of late. Basically, I've developed feelings for someone. I think he is my perfect compliment. I'm glad it's happened to be honest; I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone I actually knew. I do hope though, that this will not ruin what we have when these feelings inevitably make their presence known to the other party. Of course, there's also the possibility of rejection. I do wish to get out of the friend zone, but I'm more afraid of the "he's just no that into you" zone. I do not want to be put there, sadly though I put myself there before I've even opened my mouth. I thank my own insecurities for that, as I've never thought I'd be capable of being loved in a romantic sense.

So, I wish to make it known to him that I am not like the others he's been with. I'm the diamond you've found while you were collecting pebbles. Win my heart, and I will be yours and yours alone. I want to be the reason you smile, the one who makes you laugh the hardest, your favorite drunken video game partner, and of course the one with the shoulder to lean on whenever you need it. If you're having drama, I will have your back. My atypical-ness has nothing to do with how hard I can love if given the chance. If anything it works to your advantage, for I truly know what it is to love someone and do right by them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've found my Han Solo. I'm willing to be your Princess Leia, if you'll have me.

WTF I Don't Even... Part 2

So after you've downed your donkey jizz and pee chaser, I reckon placenta is dessert?

Of Riding Bikes And Relaxing Metal

So last weekend I got my bike out from under my parents' house, got it all cleaned up, lubricated the gears, and brought it to the complex. I've had this bike for ages, at least since I was 14. It's in surprisingly good shape considering how old it is, and the fact that it had been stored under the house for quite some time. Only thing wrong is the right shifter doesn't work properly, and the rear brake cable needs replacing (it still works fine though).

I took it out for a ride around the complex at 3:00 a.m. Saturday, shortly after getting back from Fallout. It helped clear my head and sort out some emotions I've been feeling as of late. Positive yet confused emotions, not ones brought on by the Drama Llama.




I finally purchased some new music, also. I've started buying digital albums from through Amazon, as they have them anywhere from $5-$10 depending on how old the album is, and it satisfies my OMG NEED THIS NOW! urge because it downloads instantly. Today I bought Evile's Five Serpent's Teeth, and Agalloch's Ashes Against The Grain, which contains a lovely song called "Falling Snow," which is an excellent listen on cloudy, crappy days like today.

How Piggy Got His Name

I realize that "Piggy" seems like an unusual name for a cat. Especially one that isn't fat. I tell folks it's because he makes this wheezing noise when he breathes, despite having no medical issues that would cause that. Well, words and sound mimicking just don't do it justice. So one day I was finally able to capture it on video!


Original Video - More videos at TinyPic


The hilarious part of it is that no matter where he is in the apartment, you can hear him. He can get pretty loud sometimes, especially when he's asleep. I love him to pieces OMG. <3

Pet Photos Warrant Interrogations, Apparently

One my somewhat distant relatives on Facepage has quite an interest in our pets. Normally, this is good. But she's really annoying about it. Whenever I post a photo of them, it's OMG 20,429 questions about them, and they're all the same!

So, allow me to clarify for you!

-We have 5 pets: Piggy, Lint, Xerxes, Leonidas, and Winchester
-Piggy and Winchester are mine, the snakes and Lint belong to my sister
-NO the snakes do not "play" with each other.
-NO the cats do not "play" with the snakes.
-NO Xerxes can't eat the cats. I'd be scared if the could as he's 20" long and pencil thin.
-NO Leonidas can't eat the cats. YES, he could hug them to death.
-NO we do not let either of the snakes have free range. THEY ARE CONTAINED AT ALL TIMES.
-NO the cats don't shit bricks every time they peep into Leonidas' tank.
-NO the cats don't try to eat Winchester
-NO the snakes don't crawl around on me while I sleep and plot to kill me.
-And just for you, NO, WINCHESTER IS NOT FOOD FOR THE SNAKES. HE IS A PET.

For fuck's sake woman! We are responsible pet owners who actually have a clue as to what we're doing. If ANY of them were in danger from another WE WOULD FIX THE ISSUE. DUH.

Dream Home

As a result of looking for home decor and design ideas for my Pinterest, I've come to the conclusion that I basically want to live if a renovated warehouse in downtown Richmond. One of the ones that still has exposed brick walls and some creaky wooden flooring.

However, I would gladly accept an apartment in the Canal Walk Lofts in no renovated old warehouse apartments are available.

Of course, I would want to live on the side that faces the skyline so that my view would be something like this:

I've often mentioned to some folks how much I'd love to live downtown, specifically The Fan, but alas, city traffic is NOT my best friend, and parallel parking Leroy would be a mentally exhausting endeavor for me. But I really do love the atmosphere of the area, and living there would definitely help me get over my nervousness about navigating.



Naturally though, being a South Sider amongst RVA's "culturally elite" would be a rather awkward experience. BFF and I went to a New Year's brunch thing my German teacher from high school was having, and I swear to you we were the only ones wearing T-shirts and awkwardly drinking our beer (well, I had beer). But that is a story for another day. :P

Not Again

I cannot take much more of this behavior.

But I refuse to give in again. I did that before, and it put me in a mental state I do not care to revisit. If that makes me an asshole, then fine, I'm an asshole.

And I'm sorry you feel that way.

Venting Session

Work's been pretty overwhelming lately. More so emotionally overwhelming, and by that I mean that things have been happening that tension has kind of been mounting for me.

First there was my promotion to the Mod Team, which I got pretty excited about. Yay, learning new things and a Sunday - Thursday schedule! WRONG. I have yet to help set a single mod (and there's been a lot dropping), and Co-Manager, who makes the schedule, has apparently decided that I will have the Mod Team schedule when it isn't inconvenient to him. So I'm back to having who-knows-what days off and they don't let me work on mods. Why even bother giving me the position if you don't actually plan on having me do the job?

Lately I've been assigned at least 3 departments to stock every night. These are relatively small departments, so no big deal. However, when they add toys to the mix, plus running picks for all 4 departments by 5:00 a.m., it gets nuts. There literally is not enough time for me to get everything done. And basically, I can do pretty much everything: Stock, work the fresh departments, bin, picking, work electronics, run a register, handle pick-up-today orders, pretty much everything shy of being licensed to operate the forklift. And yet, I get no recognition for that. No Associate of the Month, no certificate of appreciation Co-Manager sometimes gives out, not even a shout out in the next shift meeting. Nothing. Except more expectations. The promotion I got doesn't even mean anything to me because nothing has changed.

Add to that the feeling of inadequacy after seeing a dude who's been there 8 months get promoted to Support Manager (the highest hourly position, one step below Assistant Manager), when I've been there over a year, and I know others who have been wanting that position, and well, it's like "Why do I bother?" It's a double edged sword. I'm happy that management has such confidence in me, but assigning me what seems like the entire GM side to run, promoting me to a position I never get to do, taking away ANY opportunity of working electronics even just for one night, and not even giving me a sliver of appreciation is really beginning to get on my nerves. If I'm so fucking good at what I do, WHY DON'T I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW FOR IT?

German Grammar. Learn You Some.

One thing that inevitably comes with the territory of being a Rammstein fan is the desire to learn German, at the very least to understand what the song titles are in English. This is a good thing, as I think learning a new language certainly doesn't hurt anyone. Of course I recommend that some people shouldn't do so until they can form a proper sentence in English first, which for some never happens (I'm referring to native speakers, btw).

However, it would be nice if people in general got a grasp of basic German grammar, pronunciation, and spelling before being all "lololol loo i can cuss in german lololol" on Facepage. This is not difficult to do. I know for a fact that Barnes & Noble stocks a good deal of books, for I have purchased many. I recommend "German In 10 Minutes A Day" for beginners. This will teach you basic vocabulary, syntax, and pronunciation. It even comes with handy vocabulary stickers for you to put on household objects. They don't stick to pets very well however, and sadly I couldn't label Piggy because there was no sticker for "das Schwein." Anyway. Get yourself some workbooks, grammar books (preferably one with exercises), and a German-English dictionary. Music is awesome for helping with pronunciation and listening comprehension. But chances are you're already doing that, since you like Rammstein and all.

Why am I telling you all that? Because I can't fucking stand it when some moron on Facepage is butchering the ever-loving shit out of the language I love. This is not aimed at folks who ARE learning the language and make an genuine effort to communicate in it, but rather those fans that think they are fluent and know everything because they can sing along to "Du Hast." I'm also not getting on my high horse about it either. Granted, I took 3 years of German during high school, and dominated like a boss. I've been told by other native speakers that my German is very good, however I IN NO WAY claim to be fluent. To see people writing comments with shitty grammar and horrendous spelling makes me twitch. "Shizen" is not a word. It's "Scheisse." Capitalized, double S, sharp "s" sound, Scheisse. "To shit" would be "scheissen." NOT "shizen." THERE IS NO Z DAMMIT! If you're going to cuss in any language you should at least get the spelling right, otherwise you're just spouting nonsense.

Moral of the story: Get a basic understanding of the new language you're trying to communicate in, or just STFU 'cause it's making us all hate you/laugh at how much you fail.

Introducing...Retail Robin

When All Else Fails

Best Of Both Worlds

It's tax return season!

I found this sweet Sony 46" TV at work for $638, but I couldn't bring it home this weekend like I had planned 'cause it was raining. And Leroy lacks a camper shell or tonneau cover, and it won't fit in the Eclipse. And it's supposed to rain tomorrow too. So boo no new TV this weekend. :(

However, my sister bought an Xbox 360 and some games. She's been dying for me to play Left 4 Dead with her, so today we went to my store and I bought myself a controller, and a copy of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II. Except guess what? The case for the game was all banged up and parts of it were in pieces, the plastic around it had been ripped in places, and there wasn't a disc in there. So I went and returned that, as there wasn't any more value games I wanted to get as an exchange. I'm quite bummed about that 'cause I'd been looking for that one. But I have Deus Ex: Human Revolution to occupy my time with, so all is not lost.

Aaannnddd on a DIY note, my genius showed itself and I put this "message center" together this morning.