Kunst

I want art. I have my own place, and I feel horribly devoid of proper wall decor (aside from the Rammstein posters). However, art is either A) expensive, or B) not awesome. And by awesome I mean I have yet to come across a landscape of the Battle of Hoth.

I want this.

I also would love a portrait of the Dark Lord himself, perhaps something like this:

Of course Darth Maul wouldn't be bad either.

If anyone reading knows someone who can hook me up with awesome art, hit me up. Am willing to pay, however I'd prefer if they could work for beer.

The Dream Is Becoming Reality

Alright well, there's a bit less than 3 months until the Rammstein concert in Baltimore! BFF booked us a hotel room not too far from the arena the other day (a Best Western in case anyone's wondering). We plan on arriving early on the 25th so we can do some touristy things before the show, which starts at 8:00 p.m. I'll need to bring plenty of Full Throttle with me; that's gonna be a hell of a day.

Speaking of which, do you know last night, my dad was telling BFF to bring some smelling salts to the show? He was like "I'm seriously concerned that she may faint and miss the whole thing!" I mean, I guess his concern is valid, but...well, I have no argument here. I honestly can't say how I'd react to the sheer mind-blowing ecstasy that is their show, let alone how seeing Till in person would affect me. So we must be prepared!

So let's see, Rammstein show + BFF + first concert experience = WOOOO! The only thing that could make it better is if I get the chance to meet Till. OMG I'd just die. I mean, he's been my celebrity crush for so long, we're practically an imaginary couple.

Also, BFF says I shouldn't wear a Rammstein shirt to the show, as much as I'd want to. He says it's a "faux pas" and not good concert etiquette. It's been decided I shall wear my "Scheisse passiert!" shirt instead. I'm glad to have gotten that sorted out, as I have like 9 Rammstein shirts and could never decide which was worthy.

WTF I Don't Even...

Apparently, drinking donkey semen is an approved form of entertainment these days.

Is your brain short circuiting yet? 'Cause mine sure has. This is one of those things in life that the only reaction you can muster (aside from vomiting) is looking skywards, palms facing up, and asking "WHY?" repeatedly. I dunno what's worse, the fact that someone had to extract it (multiple times), or that someone is willing to drink it.

As a side note, I have to wonder if that chaser is really donkey piss, or if it's just a glass of Milwaukee's Best Light.

Cuddling Pigs Leads To Lazyness

I was lazy today. Aside from going to Best Buy and buying a new game for the PS3, I think all I managed to get done was washing the dishes, and that's because I have a machine that does it for me. Oh and shower. I blame Piggy. He always looks so comfortable and happy over there on the bed that I feel compelled to go cuddle him. Needless to say this results in an unplanned nap.

I try not to fret much about it, but I sort of hate it when that happens. I did have intentions of getting some things done today, but they didn't get done because I was having a lazy spell. I think the problem is that I'm just not used to having back-to-back days off. Mine usually are split, which is somehow easier for me to deal with. Hopefully I can get used to it fairly quickly, as it'll be like that for a while now.

Anyways, I'm off again on Saturday. Perhaps then I can what little needs to be done, done. And then it's off to Dad's birthday dinner. BFF is coming, and so is his new girlfriend, so I'll finally get to meet her.

I think I have too many issues to even have a relationship.

I Find Your Watered-Down Sound Disturbing

Mudvayne Then:


Mudvayne Now:



Korn Then:


Korn Now:



However, there is one band that hasn't failed me.

Rammstein Then:


Rammstein Now:

Why I Like My Job

A lot of folks look down on those of us that are in Walmart's employ. Not so much in the "Oh, you must not be able to do better" way, but in the "Wow, you work there? That SUCKS, lol" way. People assume that I would hate my job because they do. But actually, I don't. In fact, I quite enjoy what I do.

As strange as it may sound, I like stocking, probably because it's an activity that caters to my meticulous nature. My brain likes to be busy. I reckon after having been conditioned to be through numerous years of schooling this would make sense. I could NEVER be a cashier or people greeter for exactly this reason (that and I'd be standing in the same spot all day). I think this may be an underlying reason why I didn't like working in produce; it was literally the same thing every day. The only thinking part what deciding what you needed off the truck. And it's one reason why I love(d) working electronics. I was always helping customers, whether they just needed to know where something was, or how to play the music on their phone through their radio. As far as zoning is concerned, that's never "exciting," but it is more so when I'm zoning a department versus all the end caps or action alley displays. My brain is like "OMG I COULD BE BINNING ELECTRONICS INSTEAD OF THIS CRAP. FUUUUU---!"

My job allows me an outlet in which I can be meticulous, neat, and orderly without be labeled OCD or whatever. Others may try to shove the extra 4 items that clearly won't fit in the shelf up there, whereas I refuse to do so. I will not put up extra freight and have the department(s) I'm working look like shit. I can't stand when people do that. Take a look at the shipping/packaging tape in stationary and you'll see what I mean.

And it helps that I have awesome co-workers. :)

Vicious Pig Is Vicious

Piggy usually has a very calm, collected demeanor. Not much irritates him.

Sometimes, however, he has bouts of misplaced aggression (he hates that I leave him to go to work). This ultimately leads to a casualty somewhere within the apartment. This time, it was the toilet paper.

I don't know what about that roll of toilet paper set him off, but while I was in the shower he attacked it with such viciousness. Maybe it was mocking him "LOL, I'm turned under so you can't unroll me neener neener neeeener!" Whatever it was, Piggy asserted his authoritah over that roll of TP. When I asked him what he thought he was doing, he just sat there on the rug, staring at me blankly with TP hanging out of his mouth, trying to eat it. He almost looked pleased with himself.

I Want To Be James Hetfield

I've decided I'm going to pick up the guitar again. My high school offered classes, and I took the beginner one senior year, but really, a room with 40-odd kids is no environment to learn an instrument in. Add 6 other classes you have to focus on, 4 of which are necessary, you-need-to-pass-this classes, and well, you don't have the time to devote to learning it. But now that I don't have other obligations, and certainly have the time to practice, I'm gonna give it another shot, because I'd really like to be able to play.

So, when I get my February bonus, I'm going to get this bundle hurr, along with a guitar stand. So basically I get everything I need for $100. Of course I get to use my associate discount so that helps a bit. :) I've also already found the 2 "learn to play" books I want, one of which is Learn to Play Guitar With Metallica. \m/

All I'd need then is to find tablature for The Imperial March.

Resistance Is Futile

So now Facepage has decided that I'm worthy of its Ticker feature. Because I really need a feed of my newsfeed. It's fucking distracting (not to mention redundant), and it pisses me off that I can't get rid it. Where was I when this decision to put this crap on my page was made? I don't remember ever being asked if I wanted the damn thing. Facepage was all "YOU SHALL HAVE THIS FEATURE >:[" and made it so. I swear SkyNet is behind this.

I like Facepage. I really do. It lets me keep in touch with my family and friends, as well as bands I love. But I can't stand how it decides what features you're gonna have, and how your feed is gonna be organized. And ain't shit you can do about it. There is no "opt out" check box. Every time it makes changes I yell at my laptop "BUT FACEPAGE I DON'T WANT THAT." But it never listens to me. Kinda like when I fuss at the cats for peeing in the corner of the littler box. I state my case and they just stare at me blankly. I hate the new "timeline" layout for profiles. It's too much like MySpace, and it just sucks. I assume it eventually will MAKE me have that hideous monstrosity of HTML as well.

At least it doesn't make me play FarmVille. OMG I'd quit the Internet if that ever happened.

Comscan Has Detected An...

Why I Can't Stock New Releases In 30 Minutes

Back in the day, when I was actually allowed to work the electronics department in a relatively undisturbed manner, management would basically leave me alone on Monday nights because they knew I had to put out new releases. I enjoyed this very much because A) they left me alone, and B) they couldn't pull me to do some inane task another associate could do.

Nowadays, it's the same "Hurry up I need you to do [insert department here]!" Uh, I know my release load has died down drastically from what it was, but it still takes most of the night to put them out. Firstly, I can't start until midnight. The store (and possibly me) could get in trouble for street date violations. Now, I can do maybe 2 small departments before then, but not 3.

So here's the breakdown:
10:00 - clock in, nightly shift meeting
10:15ish - 11:50 - do whatever I'm assigned
11:50 - go get new releases
12:00 - 12:15 - first break
12:15 - 2:00 - print floorplan and mod labels (if they're not done already), change mod on new release end cap, stock new release end cap
2:00 - 3:00 - lunch
3:00 - 4:30ish - reset mod for GM cart rail, stock cart rail
4:30ish - 5:00 - plug holes, clean up
5:00 - 5:15 - second break
5:15 - 7:00 - zone electronics plus whatever other departments they tell me

As you can see, this is mostly an all night task. And there's only one of me. When my sidekick Melisa was working with me, we could get in done in half the time, plus the new release in-line, TV new releases, and games. But she got a fancy pants promotion, so now it's just me. And guess what? This HAS to get done. The customers expect it. The store manager expects it. However, I have no problem telling him that you decided that stocking the crafts department was a better use of my abilities, and have YOU explain to him why it didn't get done. And believe me, I'm doing it as fast as I can. I've done this enough times, I've got a system, but I won't fuck it up so I can go stock knitting needles and flower arrangement supplies. That is not my priority right now, and it shouldn't be held against me. I am not the only associate capable of doing that. But I AM the only associate who knows how to do this PROPERLY. And also, I'm rather busy right now.

So if you'd kindly get off my back and let me do what I do [dominate like a boss], then we'd all have a much better night, and I won't want to smack you with my set of keys.

Like Mah Status, Bitznitch!

That Demon Rock N' Roll

"Devil music." What is it, exactly? Is it music accompanied by lyrics which expressly discuss worshiping Satan? Is it music with lyrics that denounce organized religion? Or is it anything with an electric guitar, two bass drums, and aggressive vocals?

Because there is a difference. And just because a person, or band, denounces religion does not mean they worship the devil. In fact that'd be very hypocritical, now wouldn't it? And in some cases, the message in heavy metal songs is quite positive. Hatebreed's "Perseverance" for example, is about never giving up no matter what life throws at you. Five Finger Death Punch often sing about the lack of honesty and honor in today's society, and they really do support our military.

People like metal because they can identify with it, and it provides an outlet for pent up frustration and anger. I certainly can't let go of my negative energy by listening to Jason Aldean. I need something that expresses how I feel at the moment, like Slayer or older songs by The Casualties. And when I need to dominate like a boss, I put on some Sabaton (or The Imperial March). Metal provides an emotional outlet that other genres just can't touch (except punk rock).

Oh and may I add that while you may think that Dying Fetus is the devil, I can assure they're not singing about shooting people, gang activities, doing drugs, killing cops, prostitution, and smacking women around. Maybe you should think about THAT while you judge the music I like, while your 10 year old is listening to rap.

And with that, I bring you, Five Finger Death Punch.

Sage Advice

Life. Let The Man Live His.

Today, I sort of made a resolution to get rid of shit that constantly frustrates me, and to not allow anymore frustrating shit into my life. Of course, the cats will continue to pee in the corner of the litter box; no amount of fussing will stop that.

So, with that, I left the Till Lindemann Fans group that I was in on Facepage. Why they hell would I do that? Well, basically, it was mostly full of catty bitches who felt the need to argue over stupid shit, and generally have a Who's The Biggest Fan competition all the time. One girl goes so far as to copy every new hairstyle he gets, and, as of late, every body modification (he now has 2 eyebrow piercings and a surface piercing on his left pectoral). She's all "LOL I'm always copying Till! :D" and I'm always like "OMFG you dumb bitch get your own damn life" and want to lay the pimp hand down through the monitor. Oh and she claims to met him on numerous occasions, spouts all these "facts" that are inconsistent with common knowledge, and even claims to have slept with him. And she has yet to provide any sort of evidence for any of that.

I know, they're a bunch of women and the estrogen level is through the roof. And yes, I find him damn sexy and do NOT feel ashamed to admit such. But damn do y'all really need to argue about how many piercings he has? Or pick him apart like some A-list celebrity? He loses weight from getting back into shape and OH THE HUMANITY HE'S SO THIN HE MUST BE DOING CRACK. FFS it's called "being lean." Or "being a healthy weight for his age/height." So I left. Too much BS. Besides, I don't need their pictures; I have an impressive, museum-grade collection of my own on the hard drive.

Basically.

I Want This In My House

I fucking love this kitchen. It just has this awesome feel of warmth and cozyness, you can feel it through the monitor! I can picture this being my kitchen, and I'd have friends and family over, perhaps for Thanksgiving. Of course Dad would be in there cooking, and I'd be hollering at the TV (because of course there'd be football on), while mashing the potatoes (because I can handle that!). There'd be laughter, and good times, and good beer, and football, and just...LOVE.

I'd need it to be wider though. But damn look at all the counter space to prep stuff! And I love the hole in the wall, which I assume looks into the living room, because it gives it a sense of openness and allows you to still chat with people (or holler at the TV). Maybe some day...

Picking Up The Pieces

My concept of loyalty has been shattered. Events occurred over the weekend that apparently has caused something in my head to snap. It's like I've had an epiphany. People will be loyal to you, but only until someone else they like better comes along. It doesn't matter how long you've known them, what you've been through together, they will leave you for someone else. And they may not even look back.

This is upsetting to me, because throughout my life, I haven't been blessed with a heck of a lot of good, honest friendships. So when I find that, I treasure it. I like to think I'm a good friend, someone who will do what I can to help you out, cheer you up, whatever the case may be. I've always been loyal person to the people I truly care about. So you can imagine the hurt when that loyalty all of sudden is snipped in half by the one at the other end. And there is nothing. I. Can. Do. And then have them tell you they hung out with you because they basically had nothing better to do. Care to twist that knife you've just stuck into my stomach?

It's left me in a very complicated, weird state of mind. I feel I've been lied to, for how long I have no idea. I've just got out of the "anger" phase of the grieving process, and perhaps now I'm in the "numb" phase. I'm finding that I don't really care as much as I used to. It's not that I've given up on things or people, but I just...don't care as much as I used to. As weird as it sounds, it almost feels liberating. But at the same time, I hate it. I want to be the person that I never really had in my life (until 9th grade anyway). But it's hard when that piece of you seems to have died. I feel as if my caring nature has ultimately hurt me.

I hope someday I can figure this all out. I hope to heal from this. I'm sorry to anyone I may have inadvertently hurt, because you had nothing to do with this. I haven't replied to texts or messages because I'm just going through some rough shit right now. I can't deal with it. I hope you understand.

Yet Another Adventure At 4476

Today I found out some unexpected news; it seems I'm being promoted to the modular team at work. "WTF is a modular? And why does it need a team?" you ask. A modular (or "mod"), is basically the way the merchandise is positioned on the shelf. A layout of where shit goes, if you will. Every so often, Home Office decides they want things displayed differently on the shelf. For example, I reset the mod each week when I put out the new release games and movies. And actually, we've just finished up the cereal aisle. Essentially, the Mod Team is a group of associates who handle re-doing the mods (re-arranging the stuff on the shelf to match the mod). When they're not doing that, they stock like err'body else.

So while I won't have any sort of authority, I will be getting a slight pay raise and best of all, their schedule is Sunday - Thursday. As of yet I don't know when this will go into effect, but nonetheless I look forward to it.

To be honest, I wasn't sure if this would be considered a promotion, since I've never received one (produce to electronics was a lateral transfer).
ME: So, just curious, did I just get promoted?
MANAGER R.: *nods* Mmm-hmm. But you know what that means right? You gotta do a good job you know.
ME: I haven't failed you yet. *confident grin*

In keeping with the spirit of epic-ness, FUCK YEAH SABATON! \m/

All I Can Do Is Watch

I said in the past that I'd always be there if you needed me. Now I'm not even sure I can keep that promise. Either you truly can't see what you're doing, or you don't care.

Push people away long enough, and hard enough, and there will be no one to catch you when you fall.

Confessions

Often times in the wee hours I stop and analyze myself, something that I wish I didn't do, because it makes me feel less optimistic about my life.

My train of thought sometimes leads me back to that fight I had with my Dad last June, where I broke down and spilled my guts. It left me feeling as though I had done something wrong, or perhaps a lot of things wrong, but I could never figure out what it was. I went to work that night, arrived late, and tried with every fiber of my being to keep myself together...because all I wanted was to break down. I have never been in such a state, and haven't been since. It was a scary place for my mind to be in. One I never want to revisit.

I have been yelled at too much in my life. Mistakes are wrong. If you can't figure it out, you're too stupid. You're a pig. It didn't matter what the situation was. The solution was to make me feel as though I was wrong, that I had fucked up. I've never been good at math beyond basic algebra. My teachers never wanted to give me extra help after school. Instead they sighed exasperatedly "It's so simple! Don't you see?" No sir, I don't. Just like you don't see I need help. And always I was too afraid to ask for it.

Let's not forget the bullying during my childhood years. There was one boy in particular who made sure to yell out "DYKE!" at me every time he saw me in the hallways. I've had things thrown at me. I've had people draw swastikas on my desk in history class, which I would rub off with my spit each time. Another boy made my life so miserable, I wouldn't go to the playground in my neighborhood for fear of him being there. No blow was too low for him. To make it worse, he rode my bus, and was in my class too; there was no escaping it.

I've been made to feel lower than others. Like I deserve less. Like a freak. Like I'm not allowed to be who I am because it doesn't fit in the nice little neat boxes.

Yes. I have issues. Yes. I have anger problems. Yes. I am overly defensive. I admit these things. You can thank the males in my life for giving them to me.

Oh and of course, apparently I need to get NO, I'M NOT LESBIAN tattooed on my forehead. Because who I'd fuck is everybody's major concern it seems.

Welcome To 4476.

During your time here, you will discover things that will astound you, bewilder you, or make you literally laugh so hard you can't breath. Such is life at Walmart #4476.

It is not unusual to/for:
- Be told that something that actually is your job, is NOT your job. Then be told to go in the back and do that same task, but for other departments.
- Hurry up because they need you in grocery.
- Witness an associate running with a shopping cart from the toy department to the pharmacy to deliver pharmacy freight...in a Captain America mask.
- Be assigned to the furniture department when you can't lift half the freight.
- Be called over the P.A. to go out and collect carts. This will only happen when it's below freezing outside.
- Find other departments' freight on your pallets.
- Be asked to bin dairy or frozen when you have a cold.
- The nearest bathroom is ALWAYS being cleaned at the time you need it most.
- Don't expect to get through the checkout line quickly during the first of the month. It'd be quicker to go to Wawa to get your orange juice on your midnight break.
- The McDonald's is notorious for not taking plastic. Don't bother if you don't have cash.
- Hear other associates busting into song while stocking the paper towels, namely, "I Believe I can Fly."
- The backroom associates to ambush a manager who's been promoted to co-manager with Silly String.
- Hear associates hollering at each other 'cause we don't carry walkies and thus need to compensate.
- Expect whoever's working chemicals to smell like Fabreeze at some point.
- You'll need a gas mask to stock the feminine products. That aisle is more pungent than the perfume aisle.
- Be looked down upon by the day shift. Regardless of the situation, it will ALWAYS be overnight's fault. I believe we even got blamed for the earthquake and subsequent tsunami in Japan.

Enjoy your stay.

Vital Products For Your Everday Life

We're all brand snobs to an extent. I'm no exception, except that my snobbery is mostly kept to products that assist me in everyday life, versus the ONLY BRAND OF SHOES I WILL EVER WEAR. Consider this as a non-pushy recommendation post.

First up is Burt's Bees lip balm. I ALWAYS have a stick of this miracle concoction with me. Unlike Chapstick, I don't have to constantly re-apply it since it actually gets absorbed into the skin rather than sitting on top of it.

Listerine now has a new formula! But unlike Coke Zero, Listerine is advertising zero alcohol rather than zero calories. I got so excited I just HAD to buy a bottle. I like having fresh breath, I just hate having to suffer to achieve my goal.

This stuff's been around for ages, I know, and for good reason. It's hard to get down, since it's basically crushed aspirin, but it is indeed fast. I keep a dose handy when I visit certain relatives.

Ah, Full Throttle. Where would I be without you? You're always there, nice and cold in the refrigerator, ready to help me wake up on my days off (right after the hot shower!). You're better than coffee my friend.

And last but not least, my faithful companion, my HTC Evo 4G. Without you I would truly be lost. I would have no way of keeping track of my Falcons or annoying folks on Facepage in the wee hours at work without you. Oh and Angry Birds; that right there pretty much sums it up.

Yeah Decorating!

I may not be very DIY savvy, but that doesn't mean my apartment lacks flair. In fact I'm really good at picking out stuff that other people have made. So here's some of the nuances of the place not may or may not get noticed by others.

Coolest oven mitt EVAR.

I'm really proud of this set up. The salt and pepper shakers were bought by my mom, I dunno where she found them.

My sister was behind this. We eventually would like the living room to have a "zen" appeal.

YES! I have my own Angry Birds pig!

Soap dispenser, cleverly shaped as the rhinovirus (aka common cold). How very appropriate.

And then of course, we have Piggy, who likes to hide under my desk and wheeze.

Alles Gute, Till.

This BAMF right here is Till Lindemann. It's his birthday today.

I don't usually eat sweets, especially cake, but I reckon I can suffer through it considering all the joy he's brought me.

Vader Is Too Epic To Fail

Today I braved the cold and the traffic on Midlothian Turnpike and paid a visit to the mall. My first stop was at Hot Topic, where I was promptly greeted with hip-hop. Um, excuse me, but this is Hot Topic, not Footlocker. Put on some (fuckin') Slayer STAT! Anyway, I did manage to get some awesome stuff.

Aside from the obviously epic Darth Vader shirt, I picked up a Star Wars lanyard, a Batman can koozie, and OMG ASTRONAUT ICE CREAM. I'mma have to nom on that post haste.

Force Squeezed Orange Juice

Obligatory Introduction

Hey there.  This is my first attempt at having a blog; I got so inspired by my cousin's that I couldn't help myself!  So...we'll see where exactly this goes.

Anyway, the title refers to that fizzle that happens to your brain when it is overloaded with cuteness, joy, anger, or sheer stupidity. Expect a mixture of things. Naturally though I shall be regaling you all with stories and rants from the workplace, as there is never a shortage of those when you work retail. My posts more than likely will contain sarcasm and a somewhat dry sense of humor, which I hope some of you can appreciate.

And off we go...